Yin / Yang: Two halves that together complete wholeness. Yin and yang are also the starting point for change. When something is whole, by definition, it’s unchanging and complete. So when you split something into two halves – yin/yang, it upsets the equilibrium of wholeness. Both halves are chasing after each other as they seek a new balance with each other.

I have been visualising the Yin and Yang sign recently and find I am really drawn to the depth and yet simplicity of it. In sessions I am getting flashes of it and have been sharing that with clients and discussing what it could be meaning.

I also find myself thinking a lot about the two opposing and yet attracting energies. How they coexist perfectly and together create perfect balance. How in the Yin there is Yang and in the Yang there is Yin.

We lack balance these days on so many levels, on the personal and on the global.

I resonate having two contradictory and conflicting energies as I feel that within myself. As I move between logic, science and practicality and the spiritual, emotional and intuitive part of me. These two parts that I really should have chosen a side but could not. These two parts that often mock and scorn the other. These two parts who can not agree. And yet I am both.

I also notice this with the idea of light and dark. How we prefer the light and shun the dark. Or we adore the dark and shun the light. There’s a lot of talk of spiritual bypassing, love and light spirituality. Then we have the dark agenda and spiritual war talk. Polarising and preferential

Something I struggle with in spiritual groups is that well, basically they can be zero criac. I am a very spiritual person. But I am also a flawed human and being Irish I have developed a sarcastic and playful sense of humour. This is what I miss from a lot spiritual groups. They are so serious. Zero craic.

And this for me is an extension of the yin and yang philosophy. In the darkness there is light and in the light there is darkness. I work a lot and spend a lot of time in very heavy and dark places as I work with trauma and am honoured that so many amazing souls trusted me to be with them in those dark spaces. I found myself when with them in these dark and helpless places saying fuck a lot. This happened almost automatically, and would almost snap them out of the darkness for a second. (cause therapists are not supposed to say fuck). I would stay completely in the depth of their emotion but also let them know that I am there. I would use humour in sessions in a completely intuitive way that allowed them a breather. Or I would find them using humour to pull themselves up a bit out the trauma. This for me is Yin and yang. I never once called anyone out and accused them of masking or using humour as a defence mechanism ( therapists can be real dicks sometimes). I always trust that when they need to bring in some light they would. Or I trusted my instincts and I would bring that light when needed.

And here’s the thing. There is darkness out there. A lot of it. Sometimes it comes to you. Sometimes you go looking for it. But it is there. And it changes you. And sometimes you are lost in it. But there is also so much light. If you can see it. If you look for it. I guess I think about this a lot. And I have feared the darkness as well. I have had my own personal experiences as well as vicariously through my work. I have been lost in it at times as well. But the light always found me. I also have through my own journey come to accept the darkness. A few years ago I started having night terrors and night paralysis again. I even contacted a psychic who unfortunately tried to scam me (not suggesting psychics are scams just the one I contacted).

Then one night I had a dream of the darkness in my home. Closing the doors and windows trapping me doing the horror story evil laugh at my attempts to get out. It was absolutely fucking terrifying. I ended up going into the centre of the room and begging for help. Then I was suddenly surrounded by four beams of light that moved out from each side of me. As they moved away from me the darkness was pushed back. All the way out and I could see it was just a room. I received these words. Do not fear the darkness. It is simply the place where the light hasn’t reached. Nothing more, nothing less. It is simply a lack of light. It is the void. It is necessary and needed. It is part of all. This had a very profound effect on me. I felt quite powerful to be honest. I immediately stopped feeling afraid. I accepted the darkness and have had some wild trips through with the help of my Shaman guide who seems to love to take me walkabout in the dark. Using the sound of the drum but that is a different story for another time.

This does feel a very simplistic approach and I understand that human suffering, abuse, trauma, violence is anything but simple. I do not condone it and if I could eradicate it from humanity I would so in an instance. Every single soul I have worked with who has survived abuse and trauma will share an opening of empathy, they will breakdown and reform, changed and different. Those that can find the light and harness it will reclaim their power. They will reclaim it for themselves and those before them .

Is this painful. Absolutely.
Will they go to brinks of hell. Often.
Can they return. YES.

This is the white dot in the black.

It is the cracks where the light gets in. Rumi. Or as I say the criac is where the light comes in.

Balance is the key.