There is no hierarchy in spirituality.
You know how to do this.
You just need to remember.
Those words had me.
I sat in the white springs of Glastonbury. Naked. Shaking with emotion. Tears flowing freely.
I was NOT expecting that. I have had spiritual, mystical moments in my life. But have never been a follower. I would watch documentaries and wonder at the emotions coming up in Sacred holy sites. I never imagined I would join them.
As soon as I entered the white springs I felt a stillness. Stripping off my clothes felt natural, like I was taking away the layers of me that weren’t me. Going into the pool of cool water my breath stopped and I had to do some deep breath work with the shock of it.
Silently I found myself taking the hand of women entering and helping them into the water. Something just took over, I would find myself locking eyes with them and telling them to breathe. Taking them to the small waterfall, well trickle of water. As the water splashed their heads. Anointing them with whispers.
Then I heard those words.
You know how to do this.
You just need to remember.
You have all forgotten.
And I suddenly saw myself and others doing this throughout many life times, in streams, rivers, ponds and Sacred sites. How we bathed and anointed each other. There was no Structure, we each had the rites and blessed each other. We didn’t have to wait for someone special in a robe to come. We were the sacred ones. Every woman and man had access to this.
I still struggle to find the right words to describe this remembrance.
In that moment I could find no words as an emotion came up. All I could do was find a quiet spot and weep.
I felt grief. I felt the loneliness that this modern day madness has us all wrapped up in. I felt shame at how these experiences and remembrance are laughed at, disbelieved. How we feel we are crazy, mad, making it up. How we gloss over and deny these experiences.
I also felt love, love for myself and the women from my memories. Love for this Sacred, ancient wisdom that I believe is stirring up so strongly now for many of us.
Something changed for me in that moment. That every Sacred, Mystical or Spiritual experience I have ever had was internal. Also when we come together in that held space, when we alleviate our energy to a higher level we access this collectively. We have shared group experiences. That we have more power together to access this.
I reflected on this for a long time. I looked at how I am in my work, my relationships. How I want to be. I examined the nature and framework of Psychotherapy and realised the Psychotherapists I most admired and learned from share one thing in common. They were human, they connected with their clients, they shared emotions and experiences. Irvine Yalom is one of my role models, and I realised why. He believes the therapeutic relationship is the healing tool. He would connect with his clients and they formed a relationship, he was far from a blank page.
I believe that is the modern day take on these Sacred initiations, they looked deep into the soul and stayed there. They would wrap a person up in love and compassion and that person would feel safe enough to release and integrate their pain, suffering. They would alchemise and take the gold, the lessons from their experiences.
Modern day psychotherapy has pathologised and diagnosed too much, it demands we give authority to the therapist. It tells us something is wrong and broken. It drugs trauma and powerful emotions such as sadness, grief and anger.
(going to put a disclaimer here, I am not judging medication or diagnoses, they have their place and are helpful, what I am meaning here is healthy, human reactions to trauma. Or not exploring the root of the issue and simply papering over with medication)
There is no hierarchy in spirituality
There is no hierarchy in healing.
We are ALL moving through this to different levels and extents. We all need support, guidance and healing.
The way I work is changing. I am tired of worrying about being judged for acknowledging that we are all souls as well as bodies. I refuse to hide anymore. I am kicking the pedestal we place others on, the gurus, spiritual leaders, scientists, medics and therapists. We are all the same. We all have access to this.
We heal better with others, we can learn from them and are held and guided by them but we should never have to give our power away to access this. We can share and encourage each other, go for healing, go for guidance. There are many amazing enlightened beings out there, and I believe they are here to inspire you, awaken and enlighten something IN you. It is all about your experience..
For most of us it is a two way street. I learn from my clients , they teach me, inspire me and humble me every day.
Sometimes we just need someone to see our spark, our light. Sometimes we just need to remember.
A circle has no head, this is why we sat in them.
We could see each member and look into their eye.
I believe we are being called back to our circles, our sacredness. We are seeing loneliness and dysfunction in our modern world, making us uncomfortable and moving inward. This inward journey is paved with gold, with wisdom, remembrance and gifts. Then we take it outward and link in with others, beautiful threads of connection, of love and of truth.
And that is the future I wish to work towards.
No more heads of the table